I Love a Masculine Man: What Submission Looks Like for Me

What comes to mind when you hear the word "submission"? For many women, it triggers fear, past trauma, or images of losing power. But what if submission—in its healthiest form—is actually an act of trust, safety, and even empowerment? In this bold and vulnerable episode of "It Begins Here," host Jillian Johnson tackles the loaded topic of submission within masculine/feminine dynamics.

Jillian shares her personal definition of a masculine partner: a protector who makes her feel safe, someone financially stable, someone who can control his ego, and someone whose action-oriented energy allows her to relax into her feminine grace. She reframes submission not as weakness or silence, but as handing over the car keys when you're tired, trusting a partner to lead when they're capable, and building the trust that allows for collaborative execution.

Using personal stories—an ex who came back and showed his true colors, a past marriage that forced her into too much masculine energy, and her ongoing journey to find deep, indestructible love—Jillian offers a nuanced, healing-centered perspective on a word that scares so many. If you've ever wondered how to trust, how to let go, or how to balance your own masculine and feminine energy, this episode is for you. Your journey to empowered partnership begins here.

 Where love creates movement, and movement creates change. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I want you to submit. What does that mean to you? Is it just some kinky thing, like sexual thing? Pull out the red room, like might be into that, but depends, right? Like, get clarity. Know your boundaries on that word. What does that mean? To submit is giving the car keys to my man. Because I don't want to drive anymore. I'm tired. Letting him make the decisions on where we're going to eat. Let him look into opportunities for new investments and discuss it. Build trust so when there's an opportunity and we've planned and prepped for it, he can execute because men are of action. Masculine energy is of action. It's a beautiful thing. I dated and loved this one man, and he was full of action. Loved just watching him operate. It's fascinating. I love it when a man acts. I love it when a man pursues me. Put down your fears and worry of rejection. I had an instance where an ex that I dated for six plus months came back into my life. I uncovered some messages that I missed. And I said, huh, okay. He's kept pursuing and not in a creepy, crazy way. Alright, I'll I'll consider it. I I opened the door again. It allowed for some more healing of myself. It allowed me to clarify why I blocked him, right? I set boundaries around him. I was dating other men. He had pulled away. He wasn't ready. But he came back. It didn't work out. Why? Because he showed me his true colors. I let my intuition watch and listen. It was too much, and I knew. Deep, profound love is consistency. And welcome to It Begins Here. It begins here as a podcast about my journey and path to enlightenment, healing, awareness, realizations, and all the fun little stories in between. So I welcome you to It Begins Here, a podcast.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

I'd like to talk about submission.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

And it comes up in the dynamics of the masculine and feminine roles energy. Especially when you're in a relationship or you're dating and you're trying to develop a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

For me as a Scorpio, I want deep relationships.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Passionate, deep, foundational, undestructible, right? Indestructible. Catch myself. Um and it is a hot topic of the woman's role with the man. And I do love a man, a masculine man.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Um and what do I mean by that?

SPEAKER_01 4:01

How do I define a masculine man? And it's different for every woman, it's different for every human that is seeking that masculine energy, right? This isn't just about men versus woman, but I'm using it in a context for generalization. But because that's what I relate to, I'm a heterosexual. And so for me, and you take this as you wish, for me, masculine is someone who is a protector. Keeps me safe. I feel safe. I feel safe driving with them in the passenger suit. I feel safe knowing that they have my best intentions in mind as well. And I understand that it's for a collaborative collective effort. Um they fix things, they build things. They read the instructions and assemble. Or maybe not read the instructions and assemble them. It's for me. It's even defining what they look like, how they make me feel. Safety is definitely a big one. Protection. Now, financial stability. They must be financially stable because I am. Now, here's what I want to talk in so many different directions here, obviously, but going back to the masculine man, he needs to be able to control his ego. That's huge, especially I'm finding with a lot of very masculine men, you know, um, the ego needs to be quote unquote checked. Right? I mean, as a female, as someone who identifies as a female, my ego needs to be checked as well. But for the masculine man, and I'm quite balanced in my masculine and feminine, and that is another area that even though he steps into his masculine, allowing me to step into my feminine, right? I can be relaxed, more graceful, more alluring and seductive. I can be my creative self. He allows me to be me unapologetically. He sees me even when I think he doesn't. He acknowledges so I love other Scorpio men because it's built in in a way, um, and not just Scorpios, but that's what I'm related to. So it can be quite destructive too, right? So I was married to a beautiful man, but he was not empowered and masculine at the time. And I understood why his upbringing, his mother relation. Um, and it's all good. It wasn't aligned clearly, and it forced me to be in my masculine more than I wanted to, and I did, controlling, right? Always having to make the decisions, and I love not always having to make the decisions, and letting him lead, right? Knowing where I stand, knowing how I feel, knowing our values are aligned, but he leads us in a manner that makes me feel my entire self, my true self. And so it is difficult in the past and our society for these roles, right? And submission comes into play, and to submit has a negative connotation for women. Yes, it does because of the past that we all need to let go of. It's in the past, but we carry it with caution. So I try to even exes, men that I dated, men that I loved, you know, when they come to me, I try and take it as they have changed too. That they've evolved, that they're healing. You have to, because everyone changes. I mean, I'm changing by the second. That's I I enjoy change.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

I'm a creature of change. But it's not for everyone either. It's not a comfort zone for everyone. But you do have to kind of clean the slave and hope and use your intuition, which is not as easy as it sounds.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

I understand, and I'm constantly learning and challenging myself, and I'm using tools to validate my intuition. But man, our beliefs and our thoughts are so powerful, it can overcome them, it can overcome our intuition, our programming, right? Our fears, our worries, our blindness, our unawareness, indefinitely cloud intuition. So when you hear the word submissive, submissive, submission, submit, just ask for clarity. What do you mean by that? Instead of just being, oh my god, no, run away, run away, red flag, red flag. It's like whoa, whoa, whoa. There are ways to be submissive.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

I'm submissive to my man, to my future man.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

He's not here yet. But I am submissive to him, using my intuition, knowing that we align, having validation that we align, having trust that we align. He's listening.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

I don't always have the right answers. No one does.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

But I can't wait to find my man as I'm discovering and healing myself, right? That's first. You gotta work on that first. So you can see through the fog. So when the ex comes back and apologizes and recognizes what they did in the past, they might wanna give them a chance, right? But use your intuition where I they ask questions. I want you to submit. Well, what does that mean to you? Is it just some kinky thing, like sexual thing? Pull out the red room, like might be into that, but depends, right? Like, get clarity. Know your boundaries on that word. What does that mean? To submit is giving the car keys to my man because I don't want to drive anymore. I'm tired. Letting him make the decisions on where we're going to eat. Let him look into opportunities for new investments and discuss it. Build trust so when there's an opportunity and we've planned and prepped for it, he can execute. Because men are of action. Masculine energy is of action. It's a beautiful thing. I dated and loved this one man, and he was full of action. Love just watching him operate. It's fascinating. I love it when a man acts. I love it when a man pursues me. Put down your fears and worry of rejection. I had an instance where an ex that I dated for six plus months came back into my life. I uncovered some messages that I missed. And I said, huh, okay. He's kept pursuing and not in a creepy, crazy way. Alright, I'll consider it. I I opened the door again. It allowed for some more healing of myself. It allowed me to clarify why I blocked him, right? I set boundaries around him. I was dating other men. He had pulled away. He wasn't ready. But he came back. It didn't work out. Why? Because he showed me his true colors. I let my intuition watch and listen. It was too much, and I knew. Deep, profound love is consistency. It's going about when you don't want to. Right? The knowing, the knowing of wanting to be with an individual human. You just know. Sometimes they're ready for you, and sometimes they're not. And that's okay. They're not ready for me as I'm I'm a higher power. But man, I've done a lot of healing. I've done a lot of shadow work. I'm still healing, still doing the shadow. It's it's continuous. It never stops. And it's okay. There's a lot, I'm on my 11th life. That's what I believe in reincarnate incarnation. Yes, angel numbers, yes. Look them up. I'm on 11. My 11th life. And I've learned a lot, and I have a lot to release. I'm not a newborn baby anymore. I'm an old soul. I've been around the blocks a couple of times. And this life is gonna be quite profound. There's a lot of awakening. I know my my worth. I know what I'm meant to do, right? And it's talk. It's speak. My voice. You hear it. It's calming. It's assuring. It's soothing. I know this. When do you hear me say? And that's my gift. And it's such a blessing. It's such a blessing. But man, it's hard to hear that word cement. Ooh, man, it's hard. It is hard as I blow into the you know the quarter. Deep breath exhaled. It's hard. There's a lot of fear and worry that are behind that word.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

But you know, you know when a man's on your side, the way he holds you, the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you to others. You know. And it's and you see it, it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

And you recognize it, it's beautiful. It sometimes doesn't come in the package, or they're not, you know, at that point to contribute. And it's okay. It's it sucks, yeah, it's tough, yeah, of course. Not fun. But it's okay. You have sympathy because they're just not there. They might never be there. So it's hard to hold on to, right? I'm sure many of you realize that of holding on to something that is not meant to be.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

At least not for this moment. And it's okay. Oh, if you're in a relationship and you're continuously contributing e each of you, mamma's beautiful. That's powerful. And people know if it's right. You'll continue to do it.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

It'll feel good. But don't get caught up in the passionate, you know, I'm a fire element, man. I love the newness, the kissing, the fresh, you know, the exciting, the unknown. And I've been in the depths of it's not good. And there's not change happening. And the other individual's not healing of you. They're not making you even even if a little. You see it. You just know. And it's not meant to be. And you know, and it's okay. I don't believe in marriage forever. We make mistakes. Humans are fallible. I made a mistake. Well, you know what? I wouldn't say a mistake. My Abby's dad and I came together, um, you know, to obviously try and create something amongst each other, but we created this beautiful girl.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Right? We had a beautiful life together. It was beautiful. And it ended, and it's okay. And we're civil. We have each other's backs.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

We gotta raise, teach, educate, support this beautiful human, our daughter. So things are cyclical, they change, they don't last forever, unless it's meant to be, and you'll know it.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

You'll keep fighting for it. You'll keep working at it. And if you're fighting and working at it, and they're not getting what you need in return, then there's gonna come a point. This is emotional stuff, right? There's gonna come a point where you're gonna have to let go. And it's okay. Endings have new beginnings, remember?

SPEAKER_01 20:10

And we're evidence of it. Each of us have had endings that have developed into new beginnings, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Whether it's a love that you thought you lost, whether it's uh love you did lose that you found another. It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

You have to feel these things, you have to process it.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

You can't keep suppressing and pushing down. So submissive. Submissive is not lack of expression. Submissive is not being silenced when you have a voice.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Allowing someone to speak on your behalf when you can't. Submissive is allowing someone to lead when they can and they do it well. Submissive is allowing someone who has strengths that allow them to act and shine.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Submissives. Submission is allowing someone to take the reins when you need a break. Submission is feeling safe. Heard. Trust. So when someone says to submit do a deep belly breath, right? And think about what they mean. Feel it.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Challenges with differentiating between intuition and feelings and emotions.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

There's a difference.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

And if it's triggering you to go back to the past at this point, in my experience, seems like feelings and emotions. It is so difficult to approach a human and not bring your past. It is so hard to approach an experience and not bring your past with you. We have to try. We talk about that too. It's open. It's called Open Forum. Again, in person, Mondays 6 to 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. We're in Fall River, Massachusetts at the SOCO Art Labs. Thank you, Nelson and Jen and Amalia. And we're also virtually Wednesdays from noon to 1 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. It's a team's link. If that resonates with you, please join us. We're going to be sitting there talking. It's going to start as a very comfortable living room situation. And what it grows into, I have no idea. I just let things flow. I'm being called to do this. So here I am. I'm being called to do this podcast. So thank you for listening.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

And I hope that this helps. Love and light. It begins here.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Thanks for listening. Love and light to all you beautiful human.