SELF DISCOVERY (Part 2); Finding Peace After Trauma|My Story of Release!

Some truths stay buried for decades. In this raw, courageous, and deeply healing episode of "It Begins Here," host Jillian Johnson speaks a truth she's never fully shared before—the childhood sexual abuse perpetrated by her mother's adopted brother in a vehicle when she was young.

But this is not a story of victimhood. It's a story of release, of forgiveness, of recognizing that what happened does not define who she is. Jillian explains the "aha moment" when everything clicked—why she never used her CPA license, why she was always meant to be a healer and truth-teller, and why she's now letting go of identities that no longer serve her.

She introduces the Tarot archetype of The Hermit—shedding light in darkness—and explains her high frequency, her early spiritual gifts that arrived around age 12, and why some people simply cannot understand her energy. This episode is an invitation to release what you've been carrying, to cry, to journal, to sob—whatever it takes to heal. Your journey from silence to truth begins here.

Content warning: This episode contains discussion of childhood sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

 Where love creates movement, and movement creates change. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I never realize why I talk to myself all the time. Right? There's all these things that happen. And you never quite understand or know until it hits you. Until it becomes that awakening, that aha moment. Now I understand. It is very subtle caring. It is very subtle. Um, but it's beautiful. It's absolutely fucking beautiful. And I am such a blessed lady for it. I thank, thank, thank. Oh my god, I was crying outside yesterday in this very same place with gratitude, with utmost gratitude. Bomb Dia and welcome to It Begins Here. It begins here as a podcast about my journey and path to enlightenment, healing, awareness, realizations, and all the fun little stories in between. So I welcome you to It Begins Here, a podcast. I'm gonna try and do several recordings where it begins here. Podcast, thanks for joining us. Um where I am currently you can hear the water running because it's it's gonna heal as well with my voice, right? It's this is like a double whammy. So if you don't know who I am, um I'm Jillian Johnson. I have about 25 years um in financial data analysis, running businesses, being an auditor. Um I've worked from the smallest little nonprofit to the biggest uh Stacy Peter Chips was one of my clients that went public. Um I worked for Landor and Alcher in the healthcare industry for a while, uh public accounting, and then um McGuire and Poeand. And uh that's where the Stacy's Peter Chip all began. Um I was never really meant to do this in a in a sense, like my sole purpose was not aligned with this, but I see why the path led me here. And and I want to talk about again why I got into what I did. Um as of where I left off, my parents were very immature. They're loving, they were absolutely loving, but very immature, and I I love them to this day, I hold no regret. Um, it was all a life's journey and a lesson, and we all have regrets and we have to get through those things, right? Um, but they were absolutely never educated on what I call financial wellness, wealth consciousness, abundancy mindset, disbelieving the limited mindset, you know, those things they were never taught. My grandmother, my grandfather was a hard worker, a very skilled man, could probably do anything and everything. I mean, he was just a genius. And that led through to my dad. My dad's mathematical ability is pretty impressive. Um, my brother is very intelligent. My sister was the popularity growing up. Uh she was the spoiled one. Sorry, Holly, it's the truth. And um, you know, my mom was I'm a better version of her. Let me just say that. And that's not being negative and it's not being it's just meant it's truth. It's absolutely true. Um she had a tough life and she's still healing now. So um it's a beautiful thing, the journey, you know. It's a beautiful thing. I again I hold no regret. It's just been really hard. So, um, you know, my parents were young, they were partying and things happen, yelling and whatever, you know, the things that happen. Um, my mother's adopted brother is the one that sexually assaulted me. I was in a vehicle with him and he exposed himself. Um and other things, whatever. I've gotten past that. That's in the past and that's where it this begins, right? You gotta you gotta get through whatever you've endured. That has to be your focal point. You have to release that. You have to work on whatever it takes, journaling, meditating, crying your eyes out, sobbing. I have a great flow that I want to show you. Um, that I do every morning. Um I do several things every morning. I'm start start sharing more of that with you. It begins here, right? So my my life has been leading up to this moment. It literally everything makes sense of why I did what I did. I'm I'm a CPA of 20 plus years, so I'm about to let that go. That's no longer me. I know. And it's okay, right? It was never to be me, and I never used it for the record. I never signed uh a financial statement, I never even signed a tax return. Only my own. So I used it as leverage so I can get my way into having the visibility of companies. I know how to run companies and that's where this all began. And I was minimized, I was made fun of, I asked the questions, I challenged things, they were definitely practices and I won't say with who, but they were definitely practices that were not by the book. And I can see why they did it, right? But there's a lot of in any auditing position there's high risk of lack of independence because you might walk in and you're trying to audit the books and those books aren't clean. That's why I got into what I do. It's why it led me here. We have one of the strongest and quite frankly on the way to to one of the biggest bookkeeping and accounting firms ever. Like we're a force. That my team, our team, oh my god. Like we've lost, you know, we've lost team members and we wish them well. And let me tell you, there's ripple there. There's ripple there because I give not to just receive. I definitely give not to just receive. I'm I'm the real fucking deal. I'm not fake. I'm not naive because I'm happy. I'm not fake because I smile at you. I'm fucking genuine. I'm authentic, and you'll feel it. And if you come to me with any sort of negative resentment, want to copy me, like, you're not gonna get away with it. Karma will kick you in the ass because I'm here to spread love, joy, truth, light. I am the hermit in the deck, in that tarot deck. I'm many cards, but I'm definitely the hermit. I am here to shed light on what's unseen, and I experience it at the utmost right now. I am so connected. I am so connected, I am so blessed, I am full of gratitude, I am always grateful, I will always do my best to be humble, although I'll be interpreted as compass. I know I will, because I'm confident. I'm very intelligent. Gemini move. Very intelligent. And I want an understanding, and I know that there's multiple sides to every story. And I'm judgment. I'm the justice card too. As an auditor, I want justice. That's how I serve justice, right? I'm not I'm not a first responder. Thank you to all of you. Love, love, love. But you know, I'm in the back end kicking ship up. Put me in a put me in charge. Get me on your board, I'll clean shit up. Apps of freaking movie. You know what? You're gonna have to pay me. Yes, you are. Because the buttons here. I've given most of my life to help others and didn't receive a lot in return. A lot of people didn't understand me. I feel it's my frequency, it's my vibration. You know, I I did a um frequency bed session and um the practitioner I love you, um, she was just like, holy sh you're you're on a high freaking frequency. This is the highest one today. And she didn't say she didn't say all those words, but I saw her in her face. Like she was recognized, like, Well, you're vibrating high. And I'm like, Yeah, it's because I'm a freaking earth angel, that's why. I'm a light worker. I know my purpose now. Hi, I'm right here. I'm divinely guided and protected. I love you all, but I'm here to help. So, here comes my story. Leading up to this point, I am comfortable. It's given me the level of confidence to understand things to use logic. Um I am not am. I'm not real I'm not replicated. You can't replicate me. I'm here to serve a purpose. There's more like me. I'm sorry. I'll snip them out. Don't worry. My people, where are you? In Black Sneak Place. Anyway, um we uh we have to make great change, not with harm, not with strength, not with force, none of that bullshit. Nope. It's just being like I can just come into a room and change the entire room. I really can. It's a blessing. But it can be a curse too. Because people don't understand me. I'm so I'm uncomfortable to some. And this is where like another another understanding of this and a principle of this, my friend Carrie talks about this too. Um by the way, the practitioner on the Tesla bed was Miss Alice Buchanan. I want to give a shout out to her. I don't know why I didn't mention her name, it just came back to me. Anyway, so um Carrie talks about this with the five elements, right? I'm I'm fire and wood. Fire's my primary, wood's my second, and it's it's a tat away from the fire, but it's strong. And then the rest are the others are become more balanced now. I retook the t uh I started to retake the test, and I started to see a pattern for me that I changed, Carrie, by the way. Um anyway, I didn't finish it though. You probably saw that. Um got distracted, big surprise. Anyway, I um am blessed for that that perspective. There's others like me. We're the entrepreneurs of the world, but I lead with love, I lead with gratitude, I lead with humility, I lead with kindness, I lead with truth, I lead with truth, justice. I see right through the shit now, but there's no hiding it. So and there's other illusions out there, as I've mentioned, and we all know it. There's no hiding it now. And there's like what's done been done in the past in a negative aspect will no longer happen. It ends here. We're taken back. I know it sounds like fighting words, I guess they kind of are, but again, in a way of peace. This can be done, it will be done, it's gonna be done. As I see multiple birds flying right by me, giving me the yes it will. The times have changed everyone, and I'm so blessed to be part of it. And if you know me, you know I speak truth. I'm as authentic as they come. It ain't all about me though. It's not my point, right? I'm just I'm just telling you so you can understand, because now I now understand. And growing up, I was made fun of constantly. I was the fat kid. I got my period in the front of the entire class. The second time, my mother we I had gotten it my menstrual psycho, whatever. My flow, I was blessed as a woman uh before that incident. But my mom is so busy with my brother and sister, we forgot to log it. I didn't know, right? So I proceeded to get it in front of everyone, the class. My whole entire life, my psycho has been absolutely crazy. Very long, eight to ten days. A couple of those days, man. I really just should have my feet up. Um be I was made fun of for that, right? Being the fat kid, and being well endowed. Big Johnson's wasn't because I was fat, it was because I had big booths. Um it's nuts. It's absolutely nuts. And I've been bullied from elementary, and then people I stopped in freshman year of high school, my gifts came in. I was able to see and hear, I was connected to source, that was the trigger. And I was kind of like the black sheath, not like in a bad negative way. I was just quiet, hung in the corners. Watched everything, watched everyone. I had friends in every group. I just didn't partake. I like to be alone. I like to be in my own thoughts. And I got tons and tons of things to tell you about, um, and I will. But these uh this is it's led me here. And you know, friends came and went because they weren't true friends. I did have some good ones, but I've outgrown them. And I know it sucks, but it's true. And that's why I'm here to help, right? I'm here to help. So I'll forgive, I won't forget. Just say you know. Um, as the hawk as the hawk screeches in the back. Uh confirmation on that. It's all good though. I don't hold a grudge. I don't have that fucking energy to hold any of that. I'm done. I know who I am, I love me, I'm confident, and I'm here to serve, and I'm here to live, and I'm here to show light. Um. But even in business I was undermined. I worked for some really tough men. I've seen every type of man there is, from healthy to toxic as fuck. One of them I got fired. Big corporation, by the way. And uh yeah, I'm a truthsayer. I'm gonna throw out the I'm throwing up the flag, I guess you would say. Yeah, I don't I don't tolerate it. And rightfully so, right? When I when I get to a point of my opinion, there's there's reason for it. There's no denying it. I've been there, I've made mistakes too. Who hasn't? But you gotta own up to your shit, right? And I have. And I apologize. I'm full of fire, man, so it's tough. It's tough. Some of my teams like it, it'll it'll shake them. But I'm here to shake you. I'm here to build your confidence. I'm here to be your guide. I'm happy to do it. You're gonna get through this. There's an there's another side to this. Money, time, death, illusions. Get it out of your head as soon as possible. You're gonna keep circulating the money like it's something, but really it's bartering the spaces. Um, yeah. It's all good. There's people working on it. And other case. And our parts will present themselves, right? And that's how this is gonna go. It's wild. I'm very intuitive too, so I see things coming. I see from the past, I see into the future because of my intuition. I've always had it. I never realized why I talk to myself all the time. Right? Because all these things that happen, and you never quite understand or know until it hits you, until it becomes that awakening, that aha moment. Now I understand. It is very self-caring. It is very subtle. Um, but it's beautiful, it's absolutely fucking beautiful. And I am such a blessed lady for it. I thank, thank, thank. Oh my god, I was crying outside yesterday in this very same place with gratitude, with utmost gratitude. So, yeah, when you're when you're brought down here in your entire life by almost everyone you know, and whether it was their intention or not, many didn't even realize they were doing it. They just don't understand it, they didn't trust it. Whatever for whatever reason, then it's fine. But it's true. And so, what that does to a person who should be confident because she's smart, because she's kind, it kind of breaks you down a lot. And it takes time. You have to have patience with yourself, you have to have grace. You have to. Because if you're gonna get angry at yourself, think of all of the negativity that you're feeling. What you say and think is powerful, but you've got to come at it with a place of love and truth. And until you can do that, you can't. That's truth. And I hope that all of us in this world band together because we need to override this shit. This isn't the world I want to live in. With what's going on, and it's it's not going to be anymore. It can't. So know yourself. Know thyself, right? Understand yourself. That's the key right there. And I'm so blessed for all that have come before me doing this work. I give big, big, big, big props to you. I love you all. Every deity, every angel, every god, every goddess, every woman with a voice, every man with a heart. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. I got some people I want to introduce you, and we're gonna come forth and contribute as well. So we'll we'll take the baton when you're ready. I know such a blessing. So and I hope you'll all join us because it begins here. Love and right. It begins here. Thanks for listening. Love and light to all you beautiful human.