Unmasking Yourself Even If Scary: How to Live Authentically

What if you could stop planning everything and simply trust the universe to deliver each step? In this raw, honest, and deeply personal episode of "It Begins Here," host Jillian Johnson shares her journey from hiding behind masks to living authentically—and how that transformation opened the door to living in flow with the universe.

Jillian reveals a simple but profound experiment: she set a request to the universe (a farm-to-table restaurant, great atmosphere, and conversation) and within minutes, her intuition led her exactly to it. She challenges listeners to test this theory with small requests, proving that when you're authentic and trusting, the universe will deliver each step.

But authenticity doesn't come easily. Jillian gets vulnerable about the masks she wore—including her CPA identity, which she admits was never truly her—and the painful process of uncovering them. She shares why she got divorced, why she couldn't read the Bible, and why self-discovery requires sitting in the dark with uncomfortable feelings. This episode is an invitation to ask yourself: Am I authentic? And what tools am I using for self-discovery? Your journey to living unmasked and in flow begins here.

 Where love creates movement, and movement creates change. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

And I got a divorce because my relationship was not thriving. And we weren't connecting. We grew out of love. We disconnected. And that is okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Not everything is forever. I think most things aren't forever. It's all good. You'll move on. I have. But you have to start within. And being authentic is everything. And I think that, you know, based on what I've told you thus far, I can guarantee you you're like this woman's authentic. She says it like it is. She's truthful. She's honest with herself. Well, Dia, and welcome to It Begins Here. It Begins Here is a podcast about my journey and path to enlightenment, healing, awareness, realizations, and all the fun little stories in between. So I welcome you to It Begins Here, a podcast. Boa tarjeta, beautiful humans. What if I told you when you're in the flow of the universe, like I am, blessings? There's no planning. You just set the goal, and the goal it is. It is what it is. You set the goal, and the universe will deliver every step. Now you gotta obviously take action. And sometimes it's quite scary, right? Um but yeah, the universe will send you each step and you act. Would you think that this is possible? I think it is. I know it is, and again, I've tested it. So I've set requests. Let's start with requests, simple requests of hey universe, I got two hours to kill before a concert. This is what I want. Boom, far food farm to table, nice relaxing atmosphere, and great conversation. And literally, I felt my intuition spike, saw a sign, took the exit, and literally half a mile down the road on the right was exactly that bird flying by my window for confirmation. It exists. Now imagine living life this way. I know. Sounds crazy, right? What do you mean planning? You gotta plan, you gotta save, you gotta save for the house to plan for this. Yes, and again, this is a challenging thought, but if we were to test the theory, and I challenge you, test the theory, just do little ones, little steps, right? I plan to own and operate the largest bookkeeping and accounting practice in the country, and naturally, yes, there are things that you're gonna have to do, right? You're gonna have to go out and sell, you're gonna have to do the things, or do you? Can you allow the unknown to happen? And this is again a challenge, I think, for most humans, even those like myself that realize it does exist and just to allow it, right? To say what you need to say. I've already set goals in place, and I'm quite interested to see what transpires. Um, but I'm gonna have to trust that if it's meant for me, it will happen. And how do we get to this stage, right? I mean, just wrapping your brain around that concept is enough for you to go down a rabbit hole, but how do we get to this point of being in the flow with the universe? Now, some would say, I'm an earth angel, I'm a chosen one, I'm here to bring light to the world. Yes, all of that I definitely wholeheartedly agree. I resonate with a lot of that. But what makes me special? Why can't others be that way? Haunt for confirmation. Why can't others live like I do? To show up, you have to be authentic. That's number one. And authenticity is not something that comes easy for a lot of people. A lot of people are hiding behind masks. Man, I'm digging down deep to find the mask so I can take off the damn mask because there were masks upon masks. I didn't even realize there were masks. And me being a CPA was one of them, right? I'm not really a CPA. I took the exam a couple of times because I had fear of being tested. I had fear in testing, I had insecurities, which is freaking ridiculous considering the experience I had. But I did, and it wasn't anything that anyone could have helped me but myself. It all comes down to going within. So let's go down the road of authenticity, shall we? Because if you want to be in the flow with the universe, this is one of the things that you have to subscribe to, that you have to embody. And being your authentic self, it'll you have to break down fears and you have to break down vulnerability right away. If you don't, then you're just playing a part, you're not being your true self. And my true self, man, I just want to connect. If I see a human and they want to interact with me, I can't, I cannot help but want to help them right in the moment. And my challenge has been not to overgive and forget about myself, and that's a whole nother rabbit hole that we can go down. Having mom wounds and inner child trauma and goodness, abandonment issues, that can open up a whole nother level. But at least just showing up your authentic self, at least trying to, you're gonna uncover things for me and my Gemini moon. My uh to allow for me to process my emotions, to allow for me to process my emotions, I need to communicate or write or create for that matter. I have to express it for me to understand it. I'm a quite intelligent human, right? I mean on Gemini Moon, it kind of comes with the territory unless I don't embody it. But I do, but my my intelligence is unique. I am not, I don't learn from books, I learn from experience, I'm self-taught, and I have the knowledge within. I can read a passage and go, that's false. I mean, for goodness sakes, I could hardly read the Bible. What's that say to you? That's right. I cannot read the Bible. I read it and go, I don't even know what that just said. What just happened? What does that tell you? Right? I have trouble and have had trouble memorizing history and dates and all that shit. Like just like, what was the point? Let's talk about the experience. What happened? Okay. As most conflicts, there shouldn't be any conflict if everyone was healed, right? We could just talk about our feelings and negotiate and come forth and figure it out. But no, you get anger and fear and judgment in the room, add some testosterone, and oh good God, you get a hot mess going on. It's the truth. So see, see how I'm just showing up and just telling you how I feel and telling you my perspective. You might think I'm batshit crazy. I don't care. But I'm being my authentic self. That's the key. That's one of the keys. It's one of the things I teach, right? I'm also learning and healing as well. Being a healer of the healers, you have to live, you have to heal. I have to hold myself accountable. And accountability is another authenticity again does not come easy to a lot of people. They've been hiding behind masks due to fear and don't wanting to be someone they're not. I can't tell you, everyone I encounter, I can feel their fears. I see the masks that they're hiding. I can see right through it. How did I get here? That's part of the journey, right? Of what I'm talking about. And learning to be your authentic self because when you show up as your authentic self, man, you are limitless. You are powerful. I'm not talking about giving all your trade secrets away, but being authentic, you have to do self-discovery. You have to open up that can of worms. You have to be able to sit in silence, in the dark, with all those scary feelings. You have to endure the crazy dreams you have because it's all telling you a message. It's trying to communicate things to you that you need to understand, you need to discover. I know it's scary. I cry more than I'd like to admit. Like, oh my gosh. Why haven't I why haven't I loved myself and seen the powerhouse that I am and have all the confidence in the world? Oh, it's because I was never loved as a child, and most of my life. It was all superficial love. Most of it. Most of it. I'm honestly can say most of it. It's really pathetic and sad, but it's true. And it required me to create fictitious fantasies. I still do it. I create fantasies out of like it's wild. And yes, there are all these things that we educate on and offer in Pele wellness, P Y L I Wellness, right? That's the hub of spirituality and all the things, all the tools, all the modalities, and we're still adding to it. It's continuous. You have to utilize them if you can't just do it within. And some people cannot do things yet on their own. I've done everything on my own from the beginning. I mean, yes, obviously. Thank you, parents, for you know feeding me and clothing me and not putting me on the streets and all the things, you know. I didn't have um the devils for parents. But they couldn't they didn't know love themselves. They didn't. And they I don't even know if they still do. I don't even know if they do. People who don't love themselves, oh my god, they're self-destructive. They're absolutely self-destructive. And this podcast, man, I know I am educating many. I know I'm triggering some to go deep within themselves. I know that I'm helping others develop courses and books and the like. I know there's a ripple effect here that I happily write on, and my time is coming. My time is here. What am I talking about? Right? Look at that. I just did it right then and there. That's what I'm talking about. At least I caught myself, though. I'm aware of it and I caught myself. So why am I, why do I do that, right? Dig deep. Well, I do that because, again, I've never been loved, and therefore, self-love has completely been non-existent. And love to me was conditional. Like seriously. And I don't want to live that way. I want to have open conversations. I want to connect. I'm ready. I have been trying. And then I, you know, when you when you aren't in a loving, unconditional loving relationship, you gotta ask yourself why. Why? And I got a divorce because my relationship was not thriving. And we weren't connecting. We grew out of love. We we disconnected, and that is okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Not everything is forever. I think most things aren't forever. It's all good. You'll move on. I have. But you have to start with Ben. And being authentic is everything. And I think that, you know, based on what I've told you thus far, I can guarantee you you're like this woman's authentic. She says it like it is. She's truthful. She's honest with herself. We tell you, I make mistakes too. I still do. It's all good. Are they really mistakes, though? It's part of life. And so authenticity. To be truly authentic, you have to go within. You have to go on a journey of self-discovery. You have to know who you are to show up as authentic. You do. If you say you don't, then let's have a conversation because I highly doubt that. I think you do. I know you do. I've done it. I was wearing masks most of my life. Yes, I'm happy. Actually, I'm not. Right? All is good. Yay, joy, happiness when I just want to cry and die. Like, seriously. Everyone goes through it. Don't tell me you don't. You've been there at one break of like, why am I here? This is uncomfortable. I don't like it here. I don't have what I need. I don't have what I desire, right? All the things. So what I can say again is go within and use the tools that you you you use the tools that feel good for you in order to self-discover yourself. Whether it's writing, whether it's meditating, whether it's again sitting in a dark corner with your thoughts and just feeling them out, right? That shit's scary. You could be a runner and go and clear your mind. That's a form of meditation. However, it may be. And I always like to have the phone by my side during meditation because something happens. I'm like, I gotta write that down. I gotta jot that down. I get notes upon notes and journals upon journals. It's all gonna get consolidated at some point soon. But this is a journey, this is a process. And we need to enjoy it and not wanna like, what's at the end? How do I get there? What's the quickest way possible, right? That's not how this works. We think it is, because we're all on like we're all in instant gratification mode, which completely defeats the purpose. That's why I like going out to eat. If I'm going out to eat, it's going to be a very good restaurant, close to a very nice restaurant. I'm gonna pay the money and I'm gonna enjoy my meal, or I'm gonna go somewhere that I know is consistent, farm to table, or family-owned. There's love behind it. If not, I'm making that at home. Where I know I can add love to it. And it's always a challenge when you, for me, being Portuguese, I guess, you know, I'm alone half the time when my daughter's not here. So it's just me cooking big meals is like in my genes. Heaven forbid I know how to cook like a one-person meal. And I know a lot of you feel that. The Italians, Spaniards. So I think I think most most ethnic ethnicities, you know, we connect via food. So it's a form of connecting. And you're making it alone, sometimes it's just not as fun. I do it. And it's great. You know what I mean? So I ask you, are you authentic? Think about that. And my next question for you is what tools are you using for self-discovery? So those are your little nugget takeaways. Do you feel you're an auth you're do you feel that you're an authentic human? Number one. And number two, what tools do you use for self-discovery? And if you're looking for other tools, please go to Peely Wellness. P-Y-L-I-Wellness. Peely is the pronunciation of portal in Greek. There's a method behind my madness. Shit, I'm building things. I don't even realize why I'm building them half the time. Like, why am I doing oh yeah. Oh, okay. You build it one way, it turns the next. It's wild. So think about those two questions. Meditate that on them tonight if you need something to meditate on. Look up the definition of authentic. Connect with it. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please post. If I miss them, I apologize. I'm not on top of um all of those things, and I definitely need to get better. But I I feel the energy. I know you're out there. I know I'm helping. And I appreciate you to the moon. Love and light. It begins here. Thanks for listening. Love and light to all you beautiful humans.